So if you have been following this blog then you will already know that it’s been awhile since the last post. I apologize for leaving you on the edge of your seat for more and failing to deliver on a better follow up timeline, but that’s on me and I’ll try to do better. Truth be told, literally after my last post my wife went into labor with our second child and it was time to start another adventure. Actually… if it wasn’t for my wife getting on my case about the blog, I would probably still be putting it off. I would love to say that I had another eventful, crazy, exciting, or breathe taking story about my daughter being born… buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut it was pretty average and borderline boring. I will however try to add some spice to this baby gumbo.
It’s the evening of October 15th and my wife starts feeling those good ol’ contractions in her belly. Now I have always been one to keep as cool as the other side of the pillow (RIP Stuart Scott) in any situation, so I grab the notebook and the cell phone and start timing contractions. Everything looks to be lining up but we both feel a little hesitant to just rush to the hospital after what we went through with the birth of our first child, so this time we take our sweet time getting our stuff together. I forgot to mention that it is now 1am at night (these damn kids and their late nights). I also already lined things up with my neighbor to come over and watch our son, if needed, in the event that our little lady decided to come in the middle of the night. So as I just mentioned, it was 1am and it looks to be go time once again. Having the plan already laid out I grab my phone and call my neighbor, we love our Mrs. Chris, ring ring ring ring ring ring ring voicemail… “Let’s try again” I say to myself ring ring ring ring ring ring ring voicemail… ok one more time and another and another… Nothing. I throw on my shirt and run over to our neighbor’s house and ring the bell. Her husband, Mr. Craig, answers the door and I just blurt out “hey I’m so sorry but it’s go time, can you please watch Jayden. I tried to call a bunch but no one picked up.” Mrs. Chris, god bless her, says “oh my god, I thought I had my phone on because I knew you were going to call tonight. I’m so sorry.” I tell her not to worry about it but that we had to roll ASAP. I then run back to my house, I get the bags in the car, and we are off to meet our new tax write-off.
Now I’ll admit that I am a bit of a softy when it comes to my babies, for the most part I’m just an asshole, but I’m all smiles for my kids. Headed to the hospital you already know that I have my baby girl playlist going but this time instead of rap I have a bunch of damn daddy/daughter songs on it… Tim McGraw – My Little Girl, Darius Rucker – It Won’t Be Like This For Long, and Bob Carlisle – Butterfly Kisses. (Mind you I hate that butterfly kisses song but I can remember hearing it a million times as a kid riding in the car with my dad. He used to always listen to Delilah after dark on the radio and dudes were always calling in to hear that song so I heard my pops sing it (try to sing it) a million time. I felt I needed to add it as kind of a ‘tip of the hat’ to pops.) Anyways, it sounds like a sweet heart warming move by me right? Keeping it chill and listening to calm songs, right? WRONG, man when I tell you that I ended up crying like a fucking baby, I mean I cried like a damn baby. I couldn’t control myself, I didn’t know what the hell was going on but all I could think about was holding my little baby girl in my arms and I was done. Say what you want but that was some real (unnecessary) emotion.
Fast forward and now we are arriving at the hospital, I’m calm now. I wipe away the snot bubbles, clean myself up and I’m ready to roll. I get Kayla out of the car, grab all the bags, and get to entrance to the hospital only hear… “How can I help you?” WTF, how can I help you? Uh yea we heard this place starts to get popping after midnight and we wanted to grab a drink. “Yea, we’re having a baby.” Comes out, followed by “fucking idiot.” Anyway let me focus back up. We get back to delivery and I got the bags, my wife has the paperwork, and we’re being escorted back to our room. Kayla is much more relaxed this time, minus the contractions where she physically has to stop in her tracks until they pass, and somehow completes all the paperwork while getting undressed. I don’t know if you had a chance to read about the birth of my son but I’ll tell you that it looked like we were following the same pattern. It was late, bad contractions, her water didn’t break, and I was already tired (because obviously this experience it all about me). The hospital was actually pretty quick this time and they got her the happy drugs within a few minutes of us being in the room. I try and take a proactive approach this go around by eating some of my snacks (anything with sugar) early and by getting the blood pumping with some light exercises haha. The doctor walks in and gives Kayla the poke and tickle down there and says “Mrs. Ramos, it looks like your baby is ready to come out.” The doctor goes ahead and puts on her hazmat suit and pops my wife’s water. I see it all go down and just think to myself that it is time to go into coaching mode and start being the best push/breath coach in the game. “Alright babe let’s do this… one, two, three, push.” Kayla takes a quick break from pushing and I do some quick stretches (remember I’m being proactive) then jump back by her side because it’s time to push again. I hear the doc say “Alright give me a big push.” and l hold her hand again and look in Kayla’s eyes and say “Push. One, two, th…. Oh shit.” My daughter… she just plopped right out, like no shit we have only been pushing for a few minutes and this girl comes out like “I’m here, I don’t got time to waste up in there.” It was weird because I feel like I was smiling but I am sure I had a dumb ass confused look on my face… like when you fart at work and you heard it but you not sure if anyone else heard it but you know they really did hear it but you got to act like their the crazy ones. Yea, that was me. I look down to confirm that the package was delivered, straighten my face out, smile, cut the umbilical cord, and most importantly kiss my baby.
Now remember that I did warn you this story was going to be average at best so don’t get mad at me if you read all the way to the end and didn’t come away satisfied. Such is life haha. Anyway… keep a look out for the next story, I think I’m going to call ‘I swear girls poop out their vaginas.’
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