I don’t quite remember exactly what I was doing, but I think I was in the kitchen cleaning up or messing with the kids. I hear my wife call me from the ‘formal’ dining room (you know the room where you have that extra table, but you just cover it in shit that needs to be put away.) saying ‘Babe, come here please.’ So like a good listener, I make my way around the corner and say ‘what’s up’. I’m standing there looking her dead in the eye and she is just looking at me while holding her phone in the air. ‘Huh?’ Confused I look down and she has written something on her belly. Taking a deeper look I see ‘Baby #3’ written on her belly while also realizing that she is recording my reaction with the biggest smile on her face. Quickly processing the situation, I realize in that split second of a moment, my reaction will dictate the tone of our relationship through this 3rd pregnancy. If you have kept up with this little blog, then you know I don’t have the greatest history of taking baby news well, but this time I play it cool. Hugh smile followed by a ‘get the fuck out of here, are you serious?’ followed by a huge hug and kiss. Crisis averted. Having gone through this two times before (see previous posts) I knew I had to play to and redeem myself. I’m sure my wife was nervous to have to go down this road with me telling me again for the third time, so I just knew I couldn’t break her spirit so early. ‘Yeahhhh we are having another baby…’
Now that it’s just us here, I feel like I can be real with you. Don’t share this with my wife but while my face and body were saying one thing, my brain was speaking the holy truth. Brain: ‘What… The… Fuck… What the fucking fuck? What the fuckity fuck fuck fuck? Seriously, WTF?’ Now don’t get me wrong, this is not the same situation as when I found out our first child, my son. There was no radio silence this time, my head did not explode, and there were a lot more smiles this go around. I mean I have done this two times before and if fucked this up again, then I’m just a jackass. I don’t think much changed in my thought process from my first two kids, but this time I think I just went through all the emotions at one time, really fast, while being able to keep a smile on my face. Practice… practice… practice.
I don’t want to sound like I was upset or disappointed about the announcement, because that is not the case at all. Honestly overjoyed that we are bringing another little tax deduction into this world. Seriously, who wouldn’t want their own little army of minions to do their bidding or quote movies with or make fun of mommy together. It’s the little things people. Fortunately, we are at a different stage in life from when we had our first or even our second child, so it’s not as big of an adjustment as when we had human child 1 and human child 2. BUT, let’s be honest… it’s still a fucking shock when you hear you are creating another mouth to feed, I mean another poop factory, I mean another opinionated person, I mean a pain in my ass, I mean another bundle of joy. Yes, bundle of joy (as he slowly gives a thumbs up while forcing a smile (a little narration action there)).
For me the interesting part was the various thoughts that went through my mind when I found out about number 3, as opposed to when I found out about 1 and 2. For my first child I asked myself a lot of questions about how I would be able to take care of this kid or will I be a good father or can I afford to raise a child or what the fuck is happening. Admittedly I was nervous. With my second child there were still a few thoughts about the same stuff. Honestly for number 2, I dealt with more mixed emotions of just having another baby. I felt our family was good where it was with the three of us and bringing in another baby was like letting an intruder into the family. Just think of the scene in Forest Gump where he tries to find a seat on the bus the kids keep telling him ‘Seats taken.’ Hate to admit it, but that was the real deal feelings about my second child when I found out WE (fellas you know what I’m talking about, maybe I write a post about it later) were pregnant. Now obviously that all changed for me as we got closer to her due date and then dropped completely when I got to see those big brown eyes of my baby girl. After that moment, I knew that my life would have never been complete without her. So now here we are with baby number 3, and oddly enough, my thought process has been completely different. I haven’t worried about the money aspect because plenty of people do it with less and I have not felt like another intruder was breaking into the family either. This time around it’s been more of a Feng Shui vibe. It is what it is, and it is all that it can be. It could also just be because I’m tired of having kids that I’m just going with the flow on this one. Either way, I know I’m getting ready for another fun ride in the JustADadsLife household, and we are ready for the journey.
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