Last night I was washing my daughter’s onesie in the sink of my bathroom. I looked up, locked eyes with myself, and thought ‘wow you are really one lucky son of a bitch.’ You know there are not too many times in life where you just take a moment and admire the space you are in or the life that you are leading. I myself happen to have those moments quite often. I thought it would be a good idea to share some of those moments with you in an effort to get you to realize how amazing your life is, how important you are, and just how lucky you are.
So, why was I washing my daughter’s onesie in the sink? Oh that’s easy… it’s because she completely shit through her diaper. Yep she shit out the sides, up the front, and out the back. You see what I mean? (Napoleon Dynamite voice) Luckyyyyyy. Yes, my 7-month-old daughter has a legit Hershey factory in her bowels. The best part is that this is not an isolated incident with her either. No no no. My youngest blows through a diaper almost every damn day and has zero fucks to give about it. She also has a knack for pretty much waiting until she is strapped into something like a car seat or walker or bouncer before she decided to test the boundaries of her Huggies. I think she likes to have that extra pressure on her tush to help push her baby demons out of her diaper. My wife and I constantly check her like she is a tax refund when she is strapped into anything, to make sure everything is ‘OK’. This also leads to a bonus ‘lucky’ for me. To ensure proper checking of the baby poop shoot, I also get to jam my nose into my daughter’s butt about 700 times a day to check for baby bio-hazards. Can we say ‘winning.’ Why you ask… Well it’s because the kid makes no noise when her diaper is dominated. No crying, no complaining, no nothing. She just drops bombs and keeps it stat quo. Which inevitably leaves me, the lucky dad, who comes over to hold his baby girl and instead of feeling cute baby jelly rolls, I get smooshy baby butt butter all over my hands. Some say that’s better than a lucky rabbits foot.
My son is one of my biggest blessings in life. The kid is 6 years old and is bright, fun loving, and energetic. I tell you that this kids energy knows no bounds in life. For example, when I come home from work, he always comes running up to me to give me a big hug. Yep, great big hug for dad… but that really means that I’m going to catch a kamikaze shoulder straight to the ol’ dad berries. Ah yea, that’s my boy. The apple of my eye. I’m lucky that I have a son that cares enough for this family that he is willing to sacrifice his body to ensure that we don’t bring another mouth to feed into this family. Seriously, this kid is on a mission to destroy his dad’s sperm count and damn it… I love him for that. I mean he is saving me hundreds of dollars in having to go to a doctor to get a vasectomy (I say that only in jest, this dad is NEVER getting his nuts cut. NEVER). So with that, I have to say luuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyy me.
My first baby girl, the freest of free spirits in this house, is also the most special. To say that I am lucky to have her in my life is an understatement. Truly the main reason why I feel lucky to be a dad is that I am lucky to be her dad. You know that feeling when you walk into a room and ask your child to do something and they smile at you, and it just lights up your whole world. That is basically what happens with my daughter when I tell her to do anything… except instead of smiling, she starts crying. Crying for no fucking reason whatsoever. Yep, my little free spirit does not take kindly to anyone telling her what to do. There is never an issue of her talking back or being disrespectful, she just does not take kindly to being told what to do. She would rather simply fill the room with tears and sobbing. ‘Hey babe, can you please pick up your toys… tears. Hey babe, can you please put your backpack away… tears. Hey babe, I love you… tears. Hey babe… tears.’ Every time I see those sweet little eye droplets, I feel like I just found a penny on heads, lucky lucky.
So as you can see I’m a lucky dad. Everyday I get up and see my kids, I thank the sweet lord for the journey that I am about to partake in for that day. A day full of shitty fingers, bag checks, and the fear of not knowing what will bring the rain. I’m sure everyone has their ‘I’m so lucky story’ and I know what we are lucky for will change as the days go by, but as any dad would say… ‘I wouldn’t change it for the world.’ (well maybe for a cold beer and a nap) Stay lucky dads.
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